Washington Mama

Meet Sven

2009-08-16T11:48:00.001-07:00

This is Sven. He is a Pacific rock crab looking for a good time. He is older and knows what he wants. He is not looking for a serious relationship and feels like "life is too short to be tied down."

He enjoys long walks on the beach and moonlit dinners. He recently found a great all you can eat raw chicken buffet that he would love to share.

He tops out at 6 1/2 inches with a striking red completion and black eyes. He has a laid back outlook unless riled up. He is a crab that knows how to stand up for himself and those he loves.

UPDATE:
Sven is no longer listed on our "Available Crab" page as he has had an unfortunate boating incident. He will be scattered over salad today.

Seafair

2009-08-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

This summer has been crazy busy. Soccer, beaches, play dates, and today, Seafair. Aside from the record shattering hot temps here (hello 106!), we have had so much fun and made new friends. It is hard to believe that it is August already.

My husband was offered box seat tickets for the Seafair hydroplane races/Blue Angels airshow for today. So we dropped Meradith off with my mom and headed out to Genesee park with Brian in tow.

Wow!

Here are a few pics from today...

The hydroplane races

With our tickets we got pit passes to be able to go down and see the hydroplanes. So I went down to the pit to take a few shots of them out of the water.

The Boeing hydroplane. It runs on bio fuel!

Brian watching the hydroplanes as they start from the pit...

The Blue Angels

After the airshow the Blue Angel pilots were in the pit signing autographs.

I LOVED that there was a female pilot.

And, of course, the Seafair pirates...

Fun at the Beach

2009-07-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

This last weekend we spent the night out in Kingston. Oh, it was so fun and the view was amazing.

Making a sand castle...

Cleaning Out the Closets

2009-07-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

*originally posted by me at calvarycommunitymops.blogspot.com

It's summertime. I find that my schedule changes during this time of year. It relaxes and becomes far more flexible, but also fills up with more play dates and fun activities. I don't have to rush my son off to preschool or get out the door for regularly schedules activities. My days are more open, mostly.

I love spending the time at parks and zoos, plugging into MOPS planned play dates and in general soaking up the sun.

Summertime also brings with it a desire to do projects, at least for me it does. There are so many randomly stacked things that appeared over the winter in the garage that we can barely get the cars in. And when we can get the cars in, we are stuck because we can't open the doors!

My closets are overflowing with clothes that are out of style, don't fit or are just plain worn out. My linen closet is unspeakable.

My goal this summer is to clean out. Clean out the things that I don't use, don't want or don't need. Pass things on to other moms, thrift stores or the dump.

Declutter.

My relationship with God has much to declutter as well. How many things have I taken on board that are not benefiting me? Beliefs that have come, not from God, but from "that's how it has always been" or "that's what my parents believed." I have beliefs that cause me to feel guilty for not being perfect. Does that come from God? I don't think so.

I would be the first one to say that learning from others is a valuable thing. Passing on faith from parents to children is one of my top priorities with my son and daughter. But, old stale beliefs need to be tested and tried. Held up to see if they still fit. Are they a product, not of the teachings of God, but of a fad that came through the church (or society)? Do I have a tie-dye faith? Or do I have a classic, never-goes-out-of-style A-line faith? Where do my beliefs come from? The Bible? Society? Movies?

I loved the book The Shack. There were parts that challenged me and my prejudices. Do I believe that it was Biblical? No. But did I inadvertently take on beliefs that are contrary to the Bible?

How much of what I believe have I taken on board by random things in our culture?

The only way to distill my beliefs is to spend time with God and his Word. Letting Him talk to me and asking Him to show me the truths that can be mined only from Him and His Word and to possibly find a mentor in a more mature Christian woman.

Just like I need to spend time going through my closets this summer, I need to spend time with God. Going through my beliefs.

Wedding Photos

2009-06-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

I've been super busy with vacation and editing photos. Check out my first wedding shoot at my other blog...

A little window into his mind...

2009-05-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

The Photo

My 5 year old son is, hm, ~~disrespectful~~ ~~unique~~ creative. It's funny what sticks with him and comes back around later.

I do photography. With my love of photography comes the inevitable photos of the family. Many photos of the family. My son, Brian, doesn't often cooperate and I have to cajole him into letting me take his photo. That usually takes the form of a comment about the photo from me and letting him see it on the back of my digital camera. Instant gratification - works for most everyone, my son included.

Well, the other day he got a flashlight, but the shape was rather rectangular. In fact, it had the shape of a point-and-shoot camera. So Brian goes around "taking" photos. It was very cute.

Until he wanted to take my photo. At the time I was trying to get a few time sensitive things done.

So I had a stellar mom moment and said, "that is NOT a camera and no I'm not going to say cheese" (way to go me, encouraging creative play!). To which he looked at the back of his "camera" and said, "oh, that's not a very good one, you were mad. Let's take another."

You know you live in the Pacific Northwest when...

Brian has gotten into coloring lately. Mostly he colors in his coloring books with the random mark on the table or wall. The other day he was coloring in one of his car coloring books and decided that it needed a sky.

So he drew the sun, then he drew the clouds over the sun. Because "that is where they always are."

Yes, we are ready for some sunny summer weather!

My first Photo Walk

2009-05-11T14:57:00.001-07:00

My husband outdid himself this Mother's Day and let me have the whole weekend off! What a wonderful man. I feel renewed and rejuvenated. One of the things I did was take my first ever photo walk. It was super fun and very educational. While I wasn't really excited about any of my photos I was excited about the time to just be me (not mom, wife, housekeeper, etc), let my creative juices flow, and try out some different photography techniques.

You can see more photos on my other blo g.

Last year when I sold my horse I went through a time of identity crisis. So the last twelve months have found me trying a few things to fill that void. I feel like I have finally landed on something. My photography helps to rejuvenate me. It used to be that when I had a bad day (or was in a bad mood) I would head out to the barn to ride and spend time with my horse. Afterward, I would come home a different (happier) person. This winter has been tough on everyone: if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Not that I have been super mean or anything, but I had nothing that was just for me. Everyone needs something that feeds their soul.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that after an hour wandering around downtown Puyallup with my camera I was feeling like a new person. It was really, really nice. What a Mother's Day gift!

And, as an added bonus, I don't have to feed, shoe, vaccinate or exercise my camera regularly, and there are no boarding costs. That makes my budget (read: husband) happy too.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

In a Galaxy Not so Far Away..

2009-05-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

My husband shared with me a conversation he had with our son, Brian. I had sent Brian on an errand out to the storage/tool shed (where my husband was working).
Brian: Mama wants, um, the robot.
Husband: What robot?
Brian: um, um, the Star Wars one.
Husband: R2D2?
Brian: Yes, that one. Wait, no, the other one.
Husband: C3P0?
Brian: Yes!
Husband: Maybe you mean WD40?
Brian: Yep, that's what she wants.

Tulips

2009-05-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Washington is an exporter of Tulip bulbs? Yep. Who knew! We even have festivals dedicated to tulips. I went several years ago and it was amazing. Now that we are back in the Pacific Northwest I keep trying to get back to the tulip fields. They are only about 2 hours away, but that would be 2 ~~hellish~~ very long hours with two small children. So, I am putting off the trip for another year.

But, I did get to head out with a friend and her kids to a local (read: a short, sweet 15 minute drive) tulip nursery this last week. I took some pictures of the kids and the flowers. It was a beautiful, sunny day.

Next year I vow to make it to the Skagit Valley for the tulip festival.

I also have some new software that I am messing with and trying some new techniques...

I loved these purple, lacy ones...

The color on these was so intense. Too bad I was messing with my camera settings and didn't get a shot that did them justice.

And here is a picture of my son needing a hair cut...

This is the best one of him all day. Most of the photos were of him pretending he had a gun, a sword or some other implement of violence. Are ALL boys like this?

Last of the Old Posts

2009-04-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

Another Scrapbook Post

2009-04-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

During a visit from our best friends to Seattle this month we set aside some time to find tide pools. What fun! The kids (and adults) had a blast. We saw sea anemones, starfish, crabs and got sprayed by gooey ducks. We even got to see a train come by! The most fun was finding an outcropping of rocks that housed a bunch of starfish, barnacles and sea anemones. Lots of fun!

Scrapbooking

2009-04-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

This was me trying my hand at digital scrapbooking. It too has fallen victim to my lack of follow-through.

Photos

2009-04-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

Brian with his umbrella, rain coat and boots - getting used to the Seattle weather. And on his tricycle with his cool new bike helmet.

The Great Outdoors

2009-04-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

The other day we went for a walk. First let me say that Clay and I were thinking walk in a fairly broad sense, but still planning on actually walking. With a 2 year old walking takes on a whole new meaning. It does not necessarily mean moving forward on a set path. It went something like this: "Oh, a trail let’s follow that." By the way, this was the only unanimous decision of the day. Then, on our relaxing stroll Brian found a stick. Even though this did not surprise us we were still thinking that we would continue down the path, but instead all forward motion ceased. The stick became a sword to hack and slash at anything that looked like it might be an enemy (you know, like a random weed that had the audacity to grow too tall). Then the stick became a drum stick. Bushes, logs, and rocks became musical instruments.

After much encouragement we were able to make some progress until we came to The Lake. Really it was a small pond, but to a toddler it held abundant opportunities to get muddy and wet. And ducks, lots of ducks. For some reason in a 2 year old brain it is fun to throw rocks into the water just to watch the ducks go after it thinking they are getting fed. I admit it is a bit mean, but since my job is to avoid the dreaded temper tantrum at all cost…sorry ducks.

We did make it past the pond and on to even better water opportunities - the overflow creek. With all the rain we have had here lately there were little streams of water running everywhere. So, once again the stick came into play. Now it was a tool to “paint” with, or just to poke into the water. Rocks were also a major part of this adventure. Along with being “food” for the ducks they were fun to throw into the water or hold just because they fit into a small hand. The more I watch Brian explore and learn the more fascinating the world is to me as well.

2009-04-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

I was reminded the other day of a blog I had started in 2006 right after moving to Seattle. My follow-through was lacking and I only got a few posts up. But, I wanted to share them here (and have everything in one place). So here are my few old posts...

So many people have asked if "I am writing this down" that I thought it is time to start into the world of bloging. Welcome to The Life of Brian...

As a typical 2 year old boy, Brian is into everything. It is especially fun if it can cause some sort of bodily harm! As his mom I consider my most important job is to keep him alive until he is 18. We all need goals.

Even though he is all boy, it has been fascinating to see his personality develop. When I ask him to do something and he isn't complying I count to 3, thus allowing his brain to process the request (well that is how the theory goes anyway). The other day I asked him to do something, then started, "1.....2.....". He looks back at me and says, "3,4,5,6,7" (he had never counted above 3 before). I was of course so amazed that I didn't realize until later that he did get out of doing what I was asking for. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, thanks Sesame Street!

Brian is starting to settle in to our new home in Seattle. It has been a rough transition for him, but it is amazing how resilient little kids are. At least people tell me that this will not scar him for life. For a while there he wasn’t sleeping, now he is only waking up a few times each night. Unfortunately those few times often last an hour or more. But we are getting there, slowly.

Now that we are back in Seattle Brian has learned to recognize the Starbucks logo. As we drive by one I hear from the back seat, “Starbucks…mocha…banana steamer…bye-bye Starbucks”. This would be much cuter if there were only a few Starbucks in the area. On the same note, I can’t get coffee without getting Brian his “mocha” (which is a small vanilla steamer). I have heard that kids learn to drink out of a regular cup by using sippy cups first. Really it’s just from using those disposable travel espresso cup lids.

Each day is a new adventure, I love seeing what new thing Brian comes up with! I, of course, love it more after a full nights sleep! Or I think I would if I knew what sleep was like…

Check Out My New Site

2009-04-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Because I am having more people ask about my photography I wanted to have a site I could send them to that they wouldn't have to wade through posts that were not photography related. So here it is...

My Photography Site

I want to name my photography business, but I don't know what yet. Any ideas? Just a few caveats: I don't my name in the name of the business and I want the name to be family friendly.

Houseguests, Like Fish, Stink After Three Days...

2009-04-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

Dear RSV,

I'm glad you have enjoyed your stay at our home. Really, I am. But, I can't say we have enjoyed you. As far as house guests go, you have been overbearing, uncomfortable and have totally interrupted the flow of our lives. Not a good thing for visitors to do.

Though, while you have been here I have learned a few lessons. Some that I am grateful for, others I could have done without.

First, I have learned how to catch vomit in my hands. Sure, a useful skill for a mother to know, but one I could have gone my whole life without learning.

I also did not know that I would think of the 1 and 2 hour sleep increments of a newborn as luxurious. Now, I'm grateful for more than 15 minutes at a time. Not that I would go 15 minutes without checking to see if the baby is breathing. But, still, sleep would be nice.

Also, I feel that we have done our economic duty, in this time of fiscal downturn, to keep money flowing into the economy. Especially to the drug manufacturers, namely Vicks.

Another thing, even you, who have no sensitivity for social etiquette, should know to leave babies alone. Really? Afflicting a three month old? You should be ashamed. Adults have a hard enough time, but babies have a harder time doing without the use of their noses - and for that matter, their lungs.

You should know that your visit of 7-21 days is not the fad right now. Most viruses like you last for 3-10 days. 7-21 days, that's just selfish. Please reconsider and shorten your stay.

So, RSV, you have impacted our lives and we will remember you. But, I won't keep the light on for you.

The First Year

2009-04-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

For Brian's first year I kept a little journal. Nothing much, just a weekly calendar that I jotted down the important "firsts". I wanted to do the same thing for Mera, but couldn't find a calendar that I liked. So I picked up this blank journal. I thought it would work perfectly. I want my kids to know their story and I want them to be able to go back and see when they first giggled, first rolled over, their first words etc.

I can't wait to fill this with amazing feats (I've already filled in the info about the weekend of her birth, adoption and her first giggle). Because every child is the most amazing child - at least according to their parents!

Finalization

2009-03-21T15:40:00.001-07:00

Exactly three months after the birth of our beautiful baby girl we sat in court as the judge signed the adoption decree making her ours forever. Amazing!

Meradith Photos

2009-02-21T16:29:00.001-08:00

Here are a few recent photos of Meradith...

Toes...

Here she is showing off her new curtains...

She loves her giraffe...

Showing off her onsie...hug me, hold me, kiss me.

2009-02-18T13:57:00.001-08:00

Remember the maternity photos I took? Here are the baby pics! 9 days after Meradith was born along came this little guy. He is super cute and I had a ton of fun photographing him.

Thanks Jen for inviting me into your home to take pics of your littlest one.

I will call this...

2009-02-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

Left Unattended

5 year olds and the things they come up with...

Out of the Mouths...

2009-01-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

So, Brian came out of our down stairs bathroom. As he was coming out he reached around the door and flipped the lock, checked the handle, then closed the door. I asked him if he had just locked the door. At which point I think it dawned on him what he had done, but his response was, "no, it's just stuck".

A little fun for your Friday...
Um, Yuk

http://www.thinkofthe.com/products/lunch_bag.php

Family Photo

2009-01-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

We tried to take a family photo the other day. Is this how it is in every family?

Update

2009-01-26T16:29:00.001-08:00

We are just starting to come out of the newborn haze. I think. At least we have some good days between the sleeplessness. Though last night Mera thought that it was a good idea to eat every two hours (1/2 hour to feed + 1/2 hour to hold her upright = 1 hour of sleep for me). But mostly she goes three to three and a half hours at night. It's not so bad.

The reflux is slowly getting better. She was on Axid, but is now on Prevacid and we are hoping that it will help more. But we won't know for a little bit longer because she is also on medication for thrush. Seriously, it never ends. I feel like I should put money directly into our pediatrician's retirement account. Especially since our insurance hasn't stepped up and started covering her yet. Loving self pay, let me tell you.

In all honesty, there isn't much to complain about really. People have poured out their generosity in amazing ways. I've only had to cook a few times in the last month - so many people have brought us meals! Baby gifts appear every day or two! The community we are a part of has wrapped its arms around us and supported us as we celebrate this addition to our family. All I can say is a truly heartfelt "Thank You!"

Flying Solo

2009-01-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

Today is my first day with both kids by myself. My husband returned to work this morning after three weeks off for the adoption. His company was wonderful about letting him have time off and it was much appreciated by me.

I'll be honest. I have spent the last ~~three weeks~~ week afraid of him going back to work. I knew the day would come that I had the responsibility of both kids alone. No back-up for me to take a nap or someone there to hold a crying baby.

Along with sole care-taking responsibility I also had to get Brian to school and home again this morning. That can (and over the last week has been) tricky with Mera's schedule.

But I am proud to say that it has been an easy day. The schedule has all worked out and Mera has been rather easy. I almost think that I have this mothering thing figured out.

But then I laugh at myself knowing that tomorrow could be he**.

Thank you to all those who have asked about our sleep. Mera is on a baby antacid and is doing much, much better. We aren't up all night any longer, but we do still have to hold her upright after a feeding. During the day it is usually about an hour and I try to get away with half an hour at night (just so I can go back to bed). She is sleeping 3-4 hours at a stretch. More specifically, her schedule is on a 3-4 hour cycle. So last night she was up at 1, but I didn't get back to sleep until about 2:30 and up again at 5.

I keep reminding myself that this will pass. We waited so long for her. This is just a little bump in the parenting road. I won't even remember it when I am watching her graduate college, get married or have her first baby. There is so much more ahead. This is nothing. I'll sleep when she gets older and doesn't need me to be there so much. Then, I will miss these days.

Big Brother

2009-01-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

Sleepless In Seattle

2009-01-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I had to do a post with that title. Corney, but it had to be done.

We are settling in to life with an infant. Meradith has been fairly fussy. Okay, really fussy. My husband and I are each taking half the night sitting up with her. It has taken it's toll on our sleep.

But we do have a light at the end of the tunnel. We originally thought that she was having gas because she was so hard to burp. So I went to town burping her - pat, pat, thump, thump, jiggle, jiggle, pat, pat... and on it would go with no burp.

Oh, the screaming. It broke my heart.

Then I was out getting myself a new weekly calendar for 2009 (because I can't function without one) and came across a wonderful book.

When Brian was little I read The Secrets of The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. L.O.V.E.D. the book. She has a new book out called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. As soon as I saw it I snatched that right off the shelf and headed to the check out.

As I was looking through it I came across the section on Baby Reflux. Sounded a lot like Mera. So we have implemented the techniques (like NO patting, thumping, jiggling - oh, the mom guilt) and last night we got sleep! Whoo Hoo!

Hopefully we will be able to keep her calm and all her formula in her little tummy.

I will post more pictures soon. Right after I get a little sleep...

More Meradith

2008-12-26T16:55:00.000-08:00

Here she was a few hours before discharge from the hospital. I am still trying to figure out my new camera lens, so the photos weren't exactly what I was hoping for, but still rather cute.

Lots of people have asked how Brian is doing with his new little sister. A picture is worth a thousand words...

This was watching a movie in our hotel room.

Here I was messing with my camera settings and got a fun photo of her...

I will do my best to keep the pictures coming.

We are doing well and settling in. We were able to get home on Christmas eve so we were home for Christmas. What a blessing!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

Introducing...

2008-12-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

Meradith (we will call her Mera for short)

She was born 12-20 at 4:11 healthy ~~and happy~~.

She's got a set of lungs!

We made it for the delivery. What a wonderful experience!

Our Tree

2008-12-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas tree ornaments. There is something very intimate about how you decorate your tree. It is like a personal history of a family.

This one is probably the oldest one on our tree. It was my husband's when he was a small boy.

Here is the one we were given as a gift the first year of our marriage. It was one of only a few ornaments on a very small tree that year.

This one marked our first Christmas in Wilmore, Kentucky. Some of the best and hardest years of our marriage.

The best part of our tree is the ornaments that come with being parents. Those handmade ones bring back the best memories.

This one Brian made last year with lots of help from his Sunday School teacher.

Of all the ornaments on the tree, this one is the most pride producing. Brian did this all by himself the other day. He was so proud he was able to accomplish this. He wanted to quit half way through, but he persevered. It's not that it was hard to do, but it was tedious for a 5 year old. His personality falls much more toward the sanguine and he has a hard time pushing through and getting something done. I love watching the growth and maturity. So this is my favorite ornament.

There are a few ornaments that I love just because they are beautiful.

What is on your tree?

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

2008-12-18T14:53:00.001-08:00

This is what has been happening here for the last several days...

I just got a new lens for my camera. I wanted a good portrait lens, so I got a 50mm/1.8. I'm not quite used to it yet. So the snow pictures didn't turn out quite like I wanted them to.

My son is loving it. I kinda miss him having school. I'm having a terrible time getting things done with him home. Good thing I already love him so much.

I would have taken more shots, but I was cold ~~and didn't have shoes on~~. This is as far out as I got. It's our ~~still not shoveled~~ front porch.

I have been keeping myself busy getting ready for our new baby.

Yes! We are getting a baby girl. She is due 1-5-09, but will probably arrive early. The best part, okay the best is that we are actually getting a daughter, but the second best part is that we get to go to Arizona in the middle of winter to get her. You can't beat that.

As with any adoption it isn't certain until the judge signs that she is ours, but it's looking pretty good. Keep checking back because I'll post pictures here as soon as I can.

Commercial Christmas

2008-12-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

Last year we cut the cord on Christmas gifts. We don't exchange gifts. It's wonderful and freeing. In fact, I had time to have my grandma visit for a few days this last weekend and it was relaxed and enjoyable because I wasn't thinking of all the things I had to get done. We have family coming in this next weekend too. I don't feel the usual stress of getting everything done - shopping, baking, etc.

Of course, we decorate and celebrate. There are Christmas cookies and gingerbread houses. But it is all done to spend time together.

Christmas means more now.

I saw this video on my friend's blog, loved it and wanted to share it here.

Feel free to visit our personal favorite ministry and donate.
World Vision

Tea and Sympathy

2008-12-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in front of a warm fire with a cup of hot tea during the first snow of the season.

Sounds cozy.

Not so much.

Last Thursday afternoon we got "the call". Again.

"Birth mom... due in 3 weeks... baby girl... she wants to talk to us on Saturday afternoon."

Great! We forwarded our home phone to our cell (since we were going to be out). We watched the cell phone like a pot waiting to boil. And you know about a watched pot...

No. Call.

Nothing.

And the adoption roller coaster crests and starts down again.

Please pull up a cozy chair. Pour yourself a mug of hot tea and join me for some tea and sympathy.

(If I were in a song, I'd be cryin' in my beer).

More Photos

2008-12-09T13:38:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to photograph the family of one of Brian's best friends.

How cute are they?!

Brooke (the mom) brought along this great black and white chair...

She brought along her mom too.

Toward the end of the shoot the kids were starting to be done. Very done. But I squeezed out one last shot. I think it turned out quite adorable.

Thanks for allowing me to capture your family! What a privilege.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

2008-12-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

This last weekend we went to pick out our Christmas tree. My husband decided it was time we cut our own. So, we ~~braved the wild~~ went to our local u cut tree lot in search for the perfect tree to share our holiday season.

Brian wanted this one. And was rather disappointed when we told him it was a little on the big side to fit into our living room . Bummer.

*he so wanted to wear that hat.

But, then we found the perfect tree. A Fraser fir.

Brian offered encouragement....

and advice...

We My husband finally got it cut and hauled back.

The place where we went to get our tree has a totally cute set up. They have a little train that circles the tree farm (8 acres or so), you cut your tree then wait for the train. They put your tree on the back "train car" and you get to ride up to the front of the farm. Lots of fun for a 5 year old.

Here is a good shot of my two boys at the train station...

And one I got of Brian. He is growing up. *sniffle, sniffle*

What I have learned...

2008-12-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Over the last few weeks several of my friends have graciously allowed me to take some photos of them and/or their family. It has been an invaluable experience for me and I have learned a lot. Here are some things I have learned...

#1 and #2...
Check my white balance. It's more important than I thought.

Also, my camera tends to over expose on aperture priority mode. I guess it's time for me to move to all manual settings.

Some creative poses work, others do not...

Maybe for a wedding party, but not for kids. And, I have to be really careful with my background and depth of field with this pose.

When they say "Don't take maternity shots straight on", they mean it.

When I did my research for the maternity shoot, I read over and over - "Take maternity shots from any angle except straight on". What did I do? Yep, took a shot from straight on.

This shot totally didn't work - lesson learned (and Jen, you didn't look like this - I promise!) .

I learned two lessons here as well. #1 notice the details, and because of #1, #2 a little photo editing is okay.

Here is the shot as it was taken...

It's sweet, but not perfect. Here I "removed" the extra fabric on the left and gave it a bit of a tweak with the lighting.

And finally (though I'm sure there is much more for me yet to learn), shooting next to a waterfall is beautiful, but bring something to get the attention of the kids so they look at me.

Maternity Photography

2008-12-05T14:53:00.001-08:00

I'm trying new types of photography to see what I like the best and what I am good at. This morning a friend of mine graciously let me take some maternity photos of her. She is due in a few short weeks. I can't wait to meet the little one soon (her third boy)!

Maternity photography is totally new to me - having never been pregnant myself. I feel totally unprepared to take maternity photos, but I jumped in anyway. That's the only way to learn, right?

I'm not sure that I will specialize in maternity photos, but I feel like I learned quite a bit today.

Thanks Jen!

Jen wanted most of her photos in sepia.

She was so easy to work with.

The baby is due right around Christmas, so naturally ...

She had these plantation blinds that gave a great shadow effect...

More Photos

2008-11-26T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here are a few I shot that I converted to black and white. What do you think??

I'm official!

2008-11-25T13:52:00.001-08:00

Today I did my first official photo shoot for someone other than family. Whoo Hoo! I'm still only semi satisfied with the results, but I'm learning.

My biggest frustration is that I'm usually slightly off with my framing, so I'm cropping some at home. Since my camera is a few years old I don't want to crop any more than I have to (so I keep the resolution as high as possible).

I won't keep you in suspense. Here are a few of the shots I liked the best from today...

These kids were seriously fun to work with. I might get lulled into thinking that I want to continue to work with kids!

You can tell with this group that they really love each other. It's so nice to see siblings that get along well. Since I know their mom, I know that they don't ALWAYS get along. But you can just tell with some siblings that they are really bonded.

The original hope was that a few shots would turn out that were worthy of Christmas cards.

This is probably my favorite of the day...

I also really like this one. Somehow you can see these kids as young adults. It's like getting a glimpse into the future.

The daughter was not very shy with the camera, so I took a few of just her...

Then I took a few for the artist side of me...

What do you think?

Thanks

Photography

2008-11-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

I'm working on my photography skills. I'm going to be posting some photos here on my blog and asking for feedback.

Here is a start...

While my mother-in-law was in town we took Brian out to Dash Point State Park. It gave me a great chance to play with my new camera lens.

I found this great piece of drift wood.

So I started playing with using it to frame the photo and getting a feel for how it would work.

I couldn't resist those adorable bare feet. Or as Brian says, "he's going bare footing."

Natural consequences of going bare footing...

What was your favorite photo? Why? Please let me know in the comments. Any good advice for my photography skills? I'd love to know!

Thanks!

Pirate Party!

2008-11-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

I've been busy. Very busy. It all culminated with this...

Brian turns 5 this week. So we did a pirate birthday party for him yesterday.

All. Things. Piratey.

My dear husband spent much time this week building a pirate ship. (Thanks to OMSH for the link awhile back and Mr. McGroovy for the kit.)

We started with much cardboard (Thanks Lowe's!)...

Lots of measuring and cutting...

And got this...

We did think about painting it. But decided to go with the natural look. The kids did not even notice. In their imagination it was a bright red and gold galleon sailing the high seas.

Brian was so happy to have a huge pirate ship in his back yard and we had wonderful weather (which is amazing for this time of November in WA).

The rule in our house is you can have as many kids as the age you are turning. So there were 5 boys (plus a few grown men!), all dressed as pirates (swords, eye patches, hats and earrings) running around our backyard.

And, of course, a pirate ship cake...

My first foray into throwing a kid birthday party is complete. I've learned a few things and will be better prepared next year. But all in all, it was not as painful as I thought it would be. In fact, it was kinda fun.

Wordless Wednesday - Autumn

2008-11-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

TRP

2008-11-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

Today is a TRP day - totally random photos...

I got a new camera lens for my birthday, so Brian and I headed out to the park to try it out...

A few weeks ago Brian's school went on a field trip to a pumpkin patch/farm, I tagged along to ~~take random photos~~ provide parental support...

That is a pumpkin he is leaning against!

Another random photo from the field trip...

Brian wasn't too sure about the pumpkin guts. He's not the "stick your hands in goo just for the fun of it" kind of kid.

We are getting some beautiful fall color. Here is our tree from the front yard as it started to turn.

And, go vote!

Even I will vote (and I hate to vote).

Then head to Starbucks with your "I voted" sticker for a free tall coffee. Sorry, no latte, just a drip coffee. But, you can head over to Krispy Kreme (I've heard that Dunkin Donuts is doing the same thing, but I couldn't verify it) and get a free donut to go with your free coffee.

See, it pays to vote.

My Little Ninja Turtle

2008-11-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

I tried really hard to convince Brian to be Johnny Cash for Halloween, but to no avail. He really, really wanted to be a Ninja Turtle. So, I gave in. Here he is just after we put on the face paint. By the end of the evening most of the face paint was on his hands and sleeves. Oh, well. He had a ton of fun.

A Boy and His Dog

2008-10-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Our dog, Loki, just turned one year old last week. He and Brian have come to be best friends.

When we first got Loki he was small...

Brian could walk him...

They became buddies, exploring everywhere together...

And I do mean everywhere...

But Loki grew and grew and grew. Now, he doubles Brian's weight. They are still best friends.

It's wonderful to see the bond between a boy and his dog.

This post was originally posted in April 2008, but when I saw this I thought how perfect this post would be. So I'm republishing it.
This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by Burger King Corp.

Pa's Riding School

2008-10-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

Some people call their parent’s fathers grandpa, granddad, or I have even heard papa and gramps. Mine was just called Pa. He was a simple, country man and “Pa” fit him perfectly.

I met my Pa at the end of my 6 year old year/beginning of my 7 year old year. We became family in what has become the traditional way, divorce and remarriage. He was part of the package with my new step-mom.

Thus far I had grown up in the city, but I was in the horse crazy stage that most little girls go through. So, when I went to visit my new grandparents on their 250 acres in Oklahoma, it was a new experience for me. The best part was that Pa raised registered Quarter Horses.

I don’t know if he ever thought through the teaching of horsemanship or if he just taught like he was taught, but Pa had a certain training process for teaching his grandchildren about horses.

First, he never forced any of the (well over 30) grandchildren to be interested in horses. If it came naturally, he allowed it to take its course. For me, it came naturally.

His system was twofold; it involved location and horse. First there was Trixie, a horse that was truly on her last legs and well into her upper twenties, but perfect for a first time rider to learn the basics.

I still remember my first riding lesson. As we headed to the barn Pa told me, “If you want to turn left, move your hand to the left. If you want to turn right, move your hand to the right. If you want to stop, pull back. If you want to go, squeeze with your legs.” That’s it. That was the extent of what I needed to know. Pa then saddled Trixie with his old roping saddle and turned me loose in the corral.

The corral was the second part of his system. Built by Pa, it was a welded pipe holding area off the side of the hay barn that could hold roughly, 5-10 horses at a time with a large cattle chute in the middle, again, perfect for a novice rider. I could go around in a circle but couldn’t get up any speed (should a miracle happen and Trixie want to move faster than a slow crawl).

From my perspective at the time, I was riding an amazing, huge, flashy bay horse that could fly if she wanted to. I was hooked. The addiction has lasted, and will last my entire life. My grandparents lived 4 hours away and I visited every chance I got, which was usually every few months and most of my summer breaks.

Next, I got to take Trixie out into the “trap patch”. There was about 10 acres around the house that was fenced apart from the horse pasture. How it got its name, I have no idea, but that was always what it was called. Maybe it got its name because that was where the older cousins convinced us younger ones that you could trap snipes?

Now I was really riding! Sometimes I could coerce Trixie into a few steps of trot. Mostly I just walked around and around and never wanted to get down.

Next came Star, a beautiful light chestnut with a small white dot on her forehead. She was younger and livelier than Trixie, but certainly didn’t have a mean bone in her body. Again, I started in the corral then moved on into the trap patch. Unfortunately, Star died in foaling and I wasn’t able to ride her much. Though, Star started me on my ground lessons. There is quite a bit to learn about horses that does not involve riding, mostly referred to as “ground lessons”. Saddling falls into that category. Pa would come out and saddle the horse, start me on my ride, then go back inside. I was at the mercy of his schedule as to when I rode and when I was done. First, I learned how to pull the saddle and bridle off and put everything away. That way I didn’t have to figure out how to let Pa know I was done since I couldn’t leave the horse alone for me to run into the house. It was the natural progression, as soon as I was big enough that the saddle didn’t completely crush me as it came off the horse, I was unsaddling on my own. Though, I still wasn’t strong enough to lift the saddle up onto the horse, since that old Western saddle easily outweighed me.

Next, I was moved on to Paint. Paint was, yes, a Paint. She was my main teacher and the horse that I rode the longest. I went back into the corral, but this time for horse training. Paint was a rearer, which is a dangerous habit for a horse to get into as they can fall backwards injuring or killing both the horse and the rider. As Pa stood at the railing calling out instructions I was riding and doing my best to follow his directions. The confidence I got from actually teaching a horse something was amazing, only feeding the addiction. I’m not sure my Dad was too thrilled with that.

Paint was the horse I started cantering on, the one I learned to ride bareback and, in the summers, swim with in the ponds. Paint was also the horse that took me to the next level, the pasture, 240 acres to roam and explore. Hills, ditches, fields, creeks – one word, Heaven.

But, all was not perfect. Paint was stubborn. Pa had always sent me out into the pasture to catch the horses with a bucket of grain. Most of the time it worked. I figured out that I needed more than just a handful of grain. It was important to keep the horses interested by actually giving them a bite every now and then. But, if I ran out too far away from the house, they knew and wouldn’t follow anymore. I had my share of frustrated hikes into the pasture on hot, Oklahoma summer days. So, again, out of necessity I learned how to take a halter out with me and catch the horse and lead her back to the house. It worked wonderfully…when I could get close enough to actually get the halter on her.

She taught me well, and now I can catch just about any horse anywhere. I was also getting big enough that I could start saddling on my own. It gave me such freedom and I started riding both in the mornings before the heat of the day and in the evenings when the day started cooling.

As much as Paint taught me, I wasn’t done with the riding program. I still had two more hoses to go.

As I mentioned, Pa raised Quarter Horses. So, each spring there was a new crop of foals. I loved seeing the babies and getting to pet and play with them. One year there was an especially wonderful little filly. She was a beautiful chestnut with a white stripe down her face. I spent many hours trying to get close to her and finally brush and pet her. She was, by far, my favorite.

The way the operation worked was, Pa owned the mares and his brother owned the stallion. His brother got to pick a foal each year to keep. I’m sure there was more to the business than this, but that was all I cared about - Which foal would stay?

That year my filly was picked, and he named her Sue. I watched Sue grow each year and when she was two she was sent off to a trainer. She came back ready to ride. By that time I was ready to ride her, so I thought. She was nothing like Paint. She was fast and she was young. She taught me to think faster and anticipate anything. I learned how to voluntarily dismount before I got dismounted. I learned to ride a buck and hold on until we slowed down. She was also the first horse I ever bonded with, I loved that horse.

Right about the time I turned sixteen I made the switch from Western riding to English riding. I bought an old, almost worn out, English saddle and started riding Sue with it. I was young and stupid, but, boy did we have fun.

It was also with Sue that I finally got sick of carrying the halter, for what felt like miles, and leading the horse back to the house to saddle. I started just bringing the bridle and riding bareback to the house.

The day came when Pa’s brother passed away and Sue went to live with his son. That day, I said goodbye to a wonderful uncle and a beloved horse. And I moved on to the next, and final horse of “the program”, Missy.

Missy was Pa’s favorite, and for good reason. She was beautiful. A dark chocolaty brown bay, compact, fast, with feminine features and an attitude. When you rode her you knew she was going to buck. All the fun I had had up to this point didn’t compare with the adrenaline that came with riding Missy. But, Pa had trained me well. I was prepared, capable and competent. I was proud to be one of the only grandkids to get to ride Missy.

Since then, I have gone on to ride many more horses. I have taught lessons and trained horses. I’ve had to relearn some bad riding habits and mature as a rider and a person, but my foundation was solid and my confidence intact. I will always be grateful for Pa’s riding school.

A few years ago, Pa passed away. I still miss him and, I’m sure, I always will. When we went back for the funeral I took a few minutes to wander through the barn and walk out into the pasture and remember so many good times both with him and because of him. And when I left to go home, that old roping saddle was in the trunk of my car. I hope my kids can ride in it one day.

Pain and Pleasure

2008-10-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling with quite a bit of abdominal pain lately. 5 years ago I had surgery for endometriosis and was told to expect to have to have surgery again every 3-5 years. So here we are. Hopefully we will get this taken care of soon and I can go back to my regularly ~~over~~ scheduled life.

In the mean time, Brian and I are having fun with low impact activities.

I was so excited to come across this post. What a great idea. While we usually make our own play dough, I had never thought to mix things into it. So today I made pumpkin pie spice play dough.

I so look forward to making the snow dough (white with white glitter) later on this winter.

Wordless Wednesday - Pumpkin Cookie Edition

2008-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Point of View

2008-10-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Brian has recently taken an interest in photography. The world looks a little different from his perspective. Or, more specifically, different things are interesting from his perspective...

The Futile Search

2008-10-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wonder what Google is thinking, or maybe it's another search engine.

Here are some search terms that sent people to my blog...

- put your right foot in (okay, I can kinda see how that one got the poor searcher here but I'm sure they were looking for slightly different info)

- combat fishing (sorry to the GUY [I'm so sure this was a guy!] when you stumbled upon this very girlie mommy blog)

- I've gotten several hits from Mud Mountain and also from my little "down with that post"

- But so far, my favorite came from "michael jackson, gates of hell, deformed hand". Really Google??!! Really?!

Hibernating

2008-10-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

My dear husband pre-ordered this book for me...

It came today. There is nothing better than a cool autumn day, coffee in hand, reading a good book. And with Sharon Kay Penman, I know it's going to be a good book!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

These are similar to shots I took several months ago. This time I had my (new - thanks Cory!) tripod and wanted to play around with my camera settings a bit.

Loki

2008-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Meet my dog, Loki. A 1 year old (almost 18 months), long hair, German Shepherd.

I have had several dogs through the years. Each one has their own personality. One was independent and had to be trained more strictly, one was much more interested in watching and making sure all was well in "her" pack. Training is different with each one in order to integrate them into our family.

Loki has been, by far, the easiest to live with. He wants to be with us and is more loyal than any of our other dogs. I would say, too, that he lacks more upstairs than our other dogs. But he wants to please - he's got that going for him.

The other day I was walking with him and watching all the exploring and adventuring (not unlike walking with my son).

As we walked he ran this way and that way. First chasing a squirrel, then chasing a bird. There were great scents to follow and wonderful things to explore.

Watching him explore his world was entertaining and carefree.

Always while he was exploring he would watch and listen to where I was and we moved in the same relative direction, him always circling and exploring around me.

If for some reason he didn't see me move on I would call to him and, out from under a bush or behind a rock, Loki would come running.

As I walked God said, "Keep walking with me and we will go in the right direction. Walk through life, have fun, explore and adventure. But always listen for me. I will call to you when you wander too far and I will set the direction. Always keep listening for Me."

SNL

2008-09-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

Because there is updating happening on my computer and I can't get to the photos that I wanted to post, I thought I would share these videos instead. They have made me laugh out loud. No matter who you support this November I hope you get a laugh from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler...

If you don't see both videos follow these links...
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/

Bye-Bye Summer

2008-09-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that this was just last week. We went to a friend's house and Brian had a blast playing with the three kids and waterslide...

Now our weather has turned cold. We have the heat on and wood in the fireplace.

It's turned to this...

It's beautiful in a very different way.

The Blues

2008-09-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to get this post up. The Blue Angels come to Seattle every year for Seafair. It's great fun and we have gone every year that we have lived in Washington.

This year was no different.

We figured that Brian was old enough to get a bit closer to the action and so we hiked up to the over look of I90 that looks out over the I90 floating bridge (for those of you from out of state, yes, the bridge really does float).

I90 is just off the center point for the airshow, so it's a great spot to watch from. Next year we will probably go out on the bridge. Those should be some great photos! Because that's how I think of everything we do - what kind of photos can I get?!

Here was the view from this year...

Brian was not as excited as he could have been. But, it was a long walk and a hot day...

HDR

2008-09-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

I've been playing with a photography technique. HDR or High Dynamic Range imaging.

It's fascinating. I've always been frustrated that I could either capture detail or light, but in most cases not both. So here is my first try...

My bracketed photos:
Correctly exposed (taken on aperture priority mode)

Under exposed (-2 automatic bracketing)

Over exposed (+2 automatic bracketing)

Now the image created by merging the photos using Photomatix (which you can get the free trial, it just has the watermark - as seen on my photo below)...

It's a fun technique. To see some amazing photos taken using this see here.

Out of the Mouths...

2008-09-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

The other night I was getting ready to tuck my son into bed. He was saying his goodnights and giving hugs. He asked me, "Mama, can I play my game in the morning?" *he has a leapster that some mornings (especially Saturdays) we let him play so we can catch just a bit more sleep. It works out well for everyone involved.

I replied, "We'll see."

He turns to his Daddy and says, "She almost said 'Yes'."

Wordless Week - Friday

2008-09-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Wordless Week - Thursday

2008-09-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Wordless Week - Wednesday

2008-09-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Wordless Week - Tuesday

2008-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Wordless Week - Monday

2008-09-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yum

2008-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

This was going to be a Wordless Wednesday post, but I felt the need to share all about my new cook book. I think I'm slowly becoming a foodie. My brother would be so proud!

While out and about with my mom this weekend we popped into Tuesday Morning. If you don't have a Tuesday Morning or have no idea what I'm talking about, I feel sad for you. I picked up a Cat Cora cook book, Cooking From The Hip. Love it! Plus I got a screaming good deal on the book - $7! Whoo Hoo

So far I've made the Sweet Potato and Chive Latkes. So good. Tonight I made the Salmon on Hash. My husband always enjoys showing off the amazing leftovers at the lunch table the day after a meal like that.

The best was the Brownie Cupcakes with Honey Almond Icing. The icing was made with egg whites and beat over a double boiler for an almost marshmallow like consistency. Oh, so heavenly...

See that empty cupcake paper? I came back to ice the cupcakes and found this. Hmmm, I'm sure my husband knows nothing about that.

Mine didn't turn out as pretty as the ones in the photo in the book, but they sure tasted pretty good.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

2008-09-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

We have had several bonsai trees over the years. My favorite are the Serissa. We have had a couple of them. First, we tried to have one in Alaska - not it's native climate. While the tree did okay (until we housed it next to a diseased tree we were "tree sitting" for) it never bloomed.

We have been unable to get any blooms from any Serissa we've had. Until now. My tree is blooming!

Somehow, it makes everything feel like it will be okay.

Change

2008-08-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb has to really want to change.

I struggle with anorexia. Still. I thought I was over it. Well, as over it as I was ever going to get. Do I still look in the mirror and think I'm fat? Yes. But usually I also believe that I have other characteristics that are more important.

For some reason God has decided that I have more to work through and has brought back to the surface so many of the buried emotions.

My problem is that right now, to be totally honest, I don't want to change.

Why?

You see, I'm now in my 30's and my body doesn't look much like it did when I was 16. Or even 18 or 21. My wedding dress was a size 2. I haven't seen my body in a size 2 anything in quite awhile. I'd love to get back to that.

But there's more. There's this lie, that when I am thin enough then I am pretty enough, perfect enough, likable enough. Then. I. Would. Be. Happy.

My brain knows the truth. But my heart doesn't. How do I get my heart to believe that I'm really okay and that thinner isn't necessarily better. Nor would it make me happier.

I know that in my walk with God I move ever forward. Sometimes kicking and screaming. But still, ever forward. He is not going to give up on me. Just like He didn't give up on me before.

And truly, I've been happy. I've been content. And, I've been confident in my self. Even just a few short weeks ago. Remembering makes me want to get back to that point.

A decade ago, when I started working my way through the mess that was my self-image, I didn't know what I was working toward. Now I know. I know what it feels like to be healthy. Both physically and emotionally. It's like an addiction - only working toward good. In fact, it's more like two addictions working against each other. But, now that I know what healthy feels like I can't give it up.

Yes, I would beg, borrow and steal to get back to feeling good - just like an addiction. Fortunately (since I don't like to beg, borrow or steal) God has better plans for me. Plans to walk with me through a recovery that is complete. The scars will always be there, but the healing will happen.

Just maybe after I drop a few pounds....I kid, I kid! Well, mostly.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Click here for more Wordless Wednesday

Fun at Mud Mountain Dam Playground

2008-08-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Our weather is starting to turn more Fall-like. When today promised 80 degree weather we took full advantage of it.

I had been wanting to check out the pool at the Mud Mountain Playground, we just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Since my husband had a class to attend, today seemed like a perfect opportunity to head out.

Brian was super surprised to see the fountain and had a ton of fun. Though the water was COLD! Probably thanks to the 60 degree weather we had this last week.

It took a bit of encouragement to get Brian to go through the water, but once he did it was all I could do to drag him shivering and blue back to the car when it was time to go.

We did take a break and do some hiking. I figured Brian could use some warming up and the dog could use a good run.

I'm trying to get Brian on board with my photography habit. He used to just look at me with no posing at all. Now, this is what I get...

All in all, it was a great adventure.

JJ Heller

2008-08-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Don't forget that for a limited time you can download the new JJ Heller CD FREE! Go! scroll down for the link.

Here is one of my favorite songs from her album The Pretty & The Plain

Ex-boyfriends And Other Tools of God.

2008-08-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've been awfully quiet in the blogosphere these last few weeks. I find that when God works on my heart I tend to introvert for awhile. Part of what has been going on is about my perfectionism tendency. But most of it is about fear.

I'm realizing that so much of what I do is based on fear. Mostly fear of rejection, but really fear of anything bad (I gave up a free trip to Germany several years back because I was afraid to fly over the ocean **smacks head**).

In the past I have been described as a snob. Which, at the time, surprised me. I think of snobs as those that think others are somehow lower or less. I, on the other hand, think of myself as less. Which causes me to withdraw. Plus I am really good at hiding my emotions. Thus creating the idea that I am a snob.

It's not that I don't want to get to know you, it's that I think you will reject me.

When I look back on my life, the things I regret are the things I either did or didn't do out of fear. Take, for example, an ex-boyfriend I recently found (thanks, Facebook). Boy did it bring back those awkward teenage years! But, it fit right into the theme God is weaving in my life. You see, when I broke up with him it wasn't because I was ready to move on, it was because I was so sure he would break up with me. I know, I know, so teenage angst-ish. And so cliche. But I've always regretted it.

I never moved on from that teenage fear of rejection. If I could do it over I would have seen it through and let him break up with me. Not because I think it would have lasted nor do I wish it had. I am totally in love and happily married. But, I could have handled it so much more maturely and grown from it instead of running in fear. Oh the things my 32 year old self could teach my teenage self...

I don't want my life to be marked by fear. Nor do I want to pass that on to my kids. I want them to be confident and take chances. I truly believe (now) that you must take chances and make mistakes in order to really live. It has taken quite a bit of living and a lot of nudging from God to get me to this point.

I also believe that if I live my life and base my decisions on fear then my kids will too. I so wish I could parent by telling my children what to do instead of patterning it for them. How much easier would that be?!

As I've learned before and been reminded of this last week, only in my heartbreak does God really have a pliable heart to work with. That's when I'm able to hear Him and desire changing. It's a bit on the painful side, but better in the long run.

I want to put aside my fears and step forward into life boldly and with confidence.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2

Wordless Wednesday - Summertime

2008-08-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

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Music

2008-08-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

My husband and I started off at musically different ends of the spectrum. Over the last decade we have found some music that we both enjoy. While you won't find me listening to his Death Cab For Cutie nor will you find a country station preset in his car, you might find either one (or both) of us listening to this artist.

My favorite CD of hers so far is The Pretty And The Plain. You can download her current CD free on the web site. If you like it then you can leave a donation. Check it out!

Modesty

2008-08-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday my husband and I headed out on Lake Washington in a pair of kayaks to spend some time together and celebrate his birthday. It was a hot day in Washington (in the mid-high 90's ugh). My plan was to wear a pair of jean shorts and my bathing suit top. Certainly nothing scandalous.

Before I left the house my son took one look at me and said, "Mama, you are not ready. You need a shirt". To which I replied, "It's okay. Maybe I will go swimming".

He looked at me (and in his best imitation of my mother!) said, "You will be cold. You need a shirt".

This coming from the boy who would wear his swim trunks throughout the entire winter if I would let him!

Perfectionism

2008-08-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

I've got it.

In the past I've admitted to my "vice" rather smugly. When I do a project, it comes out perfectly right down to the last detail. If it isn't perfect then I am not satisfied with it. I admit, I've always pitied those who are not perfectionists. Those that can do something not quite perfect and still be satisfied.

UnFortunately, God likes to teach me new ways in which I am not perfect. Perfectionism. That's what he has been working on lately. Oops.

I've always taken pride in my projects. And, I've always thought that was a good thing. And it is. I think. My problem is the guilt that comes when I'm not perfect.

I've also blamed the guilt on other people. When I fail to get dinner on the table (oh, say, because my son climbed into the refrigerator to get a gallon of apple juice, which ended up on the floor) I feel like my husband is disappointed in me. He isn't, but I put my ~~baggage~~ feelings on him. I was then able to blame him instead of me.

I didn't realize that I was doing this. I know. How could I not realize it? Well I didn't. Until now.

Thanks, God.

Not Talking The Same (English) Language

2008-08-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

I grew up in Texas. I think that is all the explanation needed.
Here is a conversation I had today...
Me: I need a good red wine to go with steak. What do you recommend?
Wine Lady: Are you Bar-B-Qing?
Me: No, we are grilling.
WL: Right, BBQ.
Me: No, grilling.
WL: Um, okay how about this one?
She was still looking at me funny as I walked away.

Field Trip Photos

2008-08-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here are more pics from Brian's field trip to the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium...

If Mama Ain't Happy

2008-08-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

I've learned an interesting lesson this week. There is a flip side to the saying "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

I've always taken it to mean, if you make Mama mad then she will make your life miserable. While I believe that is true, there is another part to it.

This week has brought a bit of PMS to our home. By the way, in my house resides my husband, our son and our (male) dog. Take a wild guess, who do you think has PMS?

So, all I've wanted this week was to be left alone with nobody in my personal space. Here is where I had an epiphany. When Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Why? Why can't they be happy without me to be the cheerleader? Is every family this way?

???

Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-06T10:30:00.000-07:00

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Combat Fishing

2008-08-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

There is something in Alaska known as "combat fishing". Generally it's just shoving 10-20 ~~fishermen~~ ~~fisherwomen~~ fisherpeople in where only 1 should be.

Case in point:

This was our trip to the Kenai River. Notice that people aren't fishing with poles. In Alaska, residents can dipnet for salmon in certain rivers.

Here is my brother-in-law showing off his dip net.

First there are several things to do. We drove from Anchorage to the Kenai River and parked the RV about a mile from the fishing. Then loaded up the ATVs...
And drove down the beach.

Now some people will actually drive their cars and trucks on the beach. Some even make it out without getting stuck. Some.

Once you are set up to fish you just hang out in the mouth of the river hoping a ~~dumb fish~~ salmon will swim in. Like here...

My father-in-law caught one. Here is his girlfriend holding up. -I told her to look like she just caught a fish ;-)

Then you conk it over the head and throw it in the cooler. Or if you are lucky you have someone right there on the beach to clean it for you. I loved this lady. She was there with a group of her family. They would catch a fish and she would clean it. You can see the ulu knife there on her cutting board. The Ulu is used by native Alaskans (and tourists). Actually I have one that I really like. It works well for chopping herbs and nuts. And I guess fish, but I have a hard time cutting large things straight.

Here is a better shot of the ulu (again I'm saving you from the gore)...

Then you just hang out and wait. And wait. And wait. It can be pretty boring if you aren't fishing (or have a camera - I got lots of strange stares as I took photos). Obviously it can get pretty boring even if you are fishing.

Here is one of the kids finding something to do.

It was a pretty fun experience and very, very Alaskan. Certainly not on the typical sight seeing tours.

Field Trip

2008-08-04T07:34:00.001-07:00

Last week Brian went on a field trip with his preschool class to Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. Here are a couple of pictures...

I will try to get more pictures up later today. For some reason my energy level plummeted yesterday and I'm trying to recover today.

No Cavity Club

2008-08-01T12:25:00.000-07:00

Today is a shout out to my son. He went to the dentist this morning and did really, really well. No cavities. No crying. Plenty of space for all his teeth. And, all his permanent teeth are there (this was debatable since only 3 of the bottom middle baby teeth came in).

Whoo Hoo!

He actually had a ton of fun seeing the "pictures" of his teeth, and also having the sweet dental assistant brush his teeth and make them "sparkly". She was really great with him and walked him through the whole process before she did anything. The best was teaching him about the little water sucker thing - Mr. Thirsty (what is that really called?). She let Brian give Mr. Thirsty a drink from a cup of water, then she had him give Mr. Thirsty a kiss. It worked like a charm and Brian had no fear of the thing (I was always convinced it would suck my face off if I wasn't careful).

Hopefully my son will do better with dentists than I have. Recently I went over a decade without a dental visit. It's like when I see a spider. I don't want my son to have the same fears that I have, so I'm all, "look what a great spider. Let me take him in my bare hands and put him back outside where he can live a happy spider life." - all the while smiling like this is the most normal thing ever.

"Look at the great dentist. Let me allow him and his ~~scary~~ ~~death inducing~~ ~~painful~~ wonderful tools to clean my teeth. Oh, the fun we have."

More Alaska Photos

2008-07-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more photos from our Alaska trip.

I loved this shot. The white is some sort of moss/lichen.

In the spirit of full disclosure, this is at the Anchorage zoo. Other than at the zoo we didn't see any large wildlife.

On the way to the Kenai River.

Random foliage

Willow, AK

Seward, AK

Exit Glacier, Seward, AK

Wordless Wednesday - Summertime

2008-07-30T08:24:00.001-07:00

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AK Day 1

2008-07-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Our time in Alaska started with a bang. We dropped our luggage and off we went.

4 wheeling.

I rode with my father-in-law and Brian rode with my husband. It was Brian's first time on a 4 wheeler, so we took some time to get used to it. Eventually we figured out the ideal position, one that would keep Brian's legs off of the hot metal of the engine. If you look carefully you can see where we duct taped Brian's pant legs.

Here we are just getting started. We spent a few minutes in the parking area to make sure that Brian would be okay.

Then off we went...

I hopped on their ATV and took a family photo.

Hmmm, and we were worried that Brian wouldn't have fun...

Of course, I stopped a few times to take pictures of the scenery.

Here we stopped to look at an area that had had an avalanche this last winter. The amount of destruction was amazing.

All in all it was a fun outing for a few hours. Plus it got Brian used to the 4 wheelers. By the end of the day we were all exhausted (having woken up at 5 am to catch a plane and all).

Piratey Things

2008-07-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Before I went off to Alaska I mentioned that we had seen pirates.

Lately Brian has been really into pirates. So, when we heard that the pirates were landing on West Seattle there was no question about us being there.

We hung out on the beach and waited. First came the fire boat...

Then came the pirates...

They hung around to take pictures. This one traded swords with Brian - but only for the picture. Brian was concerned about his sword and wanted it back - you just can't trust a pirate.

Then we moved on to the tall ships in Tacoma. It was fun to see them under sail...

They had the Bounty...

And the Nina...

And more pirates!

It was a fun, pirate-filled day. We will definitely do it again next year.

Home Again, home again jiggity jig

2008-07-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

It feels so good to be home! Alaska was fun and action packed. I will be sharing more soon, but for now here are a few of the over 600 photos I took...

These are from our overnight trip to Seward.

Brian and I hiked to Exit Glacier (a little over a mile each way)...

while the rest of the gang had a successful fishing trip (in sepia to spare you the gore). We brought home about 80 pounds of fish. Whoo Hoo!

More coming soon...

Sharing Pain

2008-07-20T21:52:00.001-07:00

Hi. Yes, I'm still in Alaska. Today I have internet service and a little bit of time to write. So here I am. The rest of the family is off on some adventure. I caught words like "20 miles on 4-wheelers" and "gold panning" and "cabin". So my son and I are staying home. Because there were other words that should have been mentioned (and I'm sure will be when I hear the stories), words like "mosquitoes" and "bears" and "no running water". So I am happy to be left at home.

I thought about not blogging. Though I have missed blogging, I have also enjoyed the vacation too. But today I felt the need to share.

It's not amazing Alaska stories (though I have those) nor is it amazing Alaska photos (I have those too) that has driven me to the keyboard. But a relatively short conversation I had that broke my heart.

I'll start from the beginning.

My husband and I lived in Alaska for several years. We met in Anchorage. Then left for him to finish college in PA. Then came back to Anchorage. Then got transferred to Seattle. Then got transferred back to Anchorage. Finally leaving for Kentucky in 2001 (we spent 4 years in KY before moving to WA).

During the time we were in Anchorage we were part of a church. I have been part of this church since I was 16. The people are very dear to me and I try to visit whenever I get the chance, which is unfortunately not very often.

Today I got the chance to attend the church for the first time since leaving for Kentucky. It was wonderful to see everyone again. They also happen to be having a small going away party this evening, so I returned again for the party.

During the party one of the men of the church sat down next to me to say "hi". He was not someone that I had known well, but in a small church everyone pretty much knows everyone else. He now has teenage daughters and was sharing with me a bit about them.

Last time I lived in Anchorage I had been on staff at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center as their director of Abstinence Education. I loved the job and was often asked to speak at churches to promote awareness of CPC. Of course I had spoken at my home church as well.

This father remembered me speaking over 7 years ago and sought me out to talk with me about it.

You see, what I spoke on was that I had been anorexic, could not get pregnant and the struggles that I faced because of it. Honestly, I don't remember anything specific about my speaking. I don't even remember sharing about being anorexic.

But he remembered because he has several daughters struggling with anorexia.

I am all about sharing my story. Especially if it will help others. Either to avoid or to deal with the pitfalls I've become familiar with. It still breaks my heart though.

What I don't tend to share in public is that the reason that I was anorexic stems from having been abused. Not that I mind people knowing, but it's just not something I share when I'm speaking to a large group.

While I was talking with this father I really felt the need to be open with him about why and how I came to the point of being anorexic.

He made the connection of what I was saying, asking if I thought that was what happened to his daughters. I don't know his daughters. The last time I saw them they were just little girls. So, really I just don't know. But how do you tell a father that there is the possibility that his daughters were abused? Even saying that it's not a given, that anorexia can come from other things was not enough to take away those fears. And I truly hope that with his girls, this horrible disease is not compounded by having to also deal with abuse. Unfortunately anorexia comes from somewhere. Something triggers it. Too often that trigger is sexual abuse of some sort.

I don't think I have ever seen the emotion of heartbreak. Sad, angry, upset - yes. But I don't think I ever realized what heartbreak looked like. This father was heartbroken. All he ever wanted to do was to protect his daughters.

What do you say in that situation? There is nothing to take away the pain. Should I have not said anything? I don't know. All I know is that if I never share my story, then my pain will be for nothing. I really, really don't want my pain to be for nothing. And I pray often that God will redeem that pain and turn it into something good. But I do still wish that there was no need for my story, that girls didn't face abuse or anorexia. That fathers could protect their daughters from all the pain in this world. That would be a good day.

Wordless Wednesday - Summertime

2008-07-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

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I'll tell you all about the pirates when I return from Alaska...

North To Alaska...

2008-07-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am heading up to Alaska for a vacation. Um, well, I'm spending time with my in-laws. So, sort of a vacation.

Actually, I'm really looking forward to it.

A little fact about my husband and me...we were both living in Alaska when we met. And I have moved into (and out of) Alaska 3 times!

Since I don't consider myself an A-list blogger, I'm taking time off from blogging and not having any guest bloggers. So this site will be quiet until sometime around the 25th of July. Then it should practically explode with Alaska pictures (assuming the camera techs that are going to clean my camera this week don't break it *crossing fingers*).

Come back and see.

Before you email me and tell me how I'm not supposed to let the world wide web know when we are on vacation, don't worry my internets. The guy that is house sitting and the 85 lb. German Shepherd he is taking care of should be enough of a deterrent should anybody get any ideas. ;-)

The Blue Rhino

2008-07-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

When Brian was a baby he was given a stuffed blue rhino. Very cute.
Notice the cute yarn tail...

Then Brian attached to it and it became his "Blue Rhino". Oh how he loved that rhino. But mostly he loved the tail. He would rub it on his nose when he was falling asleep. It must have been something about the yarn that was soothing.

Well, he has now had that rhino (and a duplicate, because if your child attaches to something, for the love of Pete, get a duplicate!!! and rotate them so that they wear evenly. We have had a time or two when the rhino was left or lost and we were so grateful for the duplicate) for almost 5 years. Here is what those rhinos look like now...

The faces though a bit faded still pretty much look the same (thanks to regular baths in the washing machine), but the tails have been loved to pieces.

But the cutest part of the whole thing is that when I am sick or down, Brian will bring his rhino over and rub my nose with the tail (which makes me love my washing machine that much more). Because, a blue rhino makes everything better.

The reason I visited this topic (aside from the cuteness) is that the other day I was reading this book You Are My I Love You (if you don't have it, get it - And read it to your child. It's wonderful). In the book the little bear has a stuffed elephant that he carries around. Brian noticed this and asked about it. So I said, "that's his elephant. Like your Blue Rhino". Brian immediately understood the logic and said, while he rubbed the end of his nose. "oh, does he do this?"

"Yes, sweetie, he does."

Fight the Frump Friday

2008-07-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

This is my first foray into Fussy's Fight the Frump Friday. Though I've lurked for awhile. Find more at Fussypants.

Today is all about a key make-up trick.

Match your lipstick to your nail polish.

I can't stress enough how important that is. It gives you an "I care how I look" appearance. And all us SAHM's know how important it is to appear put together before we walk out the door.

You know how much you like it when the other, not-so-put-together moms envy your style and grace when you walk up to the park. It makes you feel so good.

So here I am the other day, before I put my face on (as we say in TX - where I grew up).

I even allowed a close up, for posterity.

Scary isn't it. I can't believe my son even came that close. He's a brave one, that kid.

Lucky for him, I took the time, just that extra few seconds, to show that I'm not frumpy. I love the results...*

See how the colors really tie together and give that put-together look? It's amazing what it can do for your self esteem. The right cosmetics can even camouflage that facial hair while you wait for your waxing appointment. See? You hardly even notice my gnarly beard.

*Freemont Troll dressed for Summer Solstice.

The Doldrums

2008-07-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

While I was taking my shower (seriously, I do my best thinking in the shower. Not in a bath. Don't know why, that's just the way it is) I got to thinking that I am in the adoption doldrums.

definition:

Noun

the doldrums

1. b. a state of inactivity
2.a. A region of the ocean near the equator, characterized by calms, light winds, or squalls.

It makes me think of sailors that are stuck out to sea with no wind, but they are most definitely still in the process of their journey.

That's where we are with the adoption. Stuck in the middle of the journey with no wind.

It's really hard to keep our spirits up when we feel like we aren't getting anywhere. There seems to be nothing to do but wait.

I think the muppets really get at the heart of what we feel...

Wordless Wednesday

2008-07-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

For more go to Wordless Wednesday.

Fireworks!!

2008-07-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun on Friday the 4th. Last year we moved into our new home just a week or two after the fourth of July, so we didn't know how much our neighborhood celebrated. We got the full experience this year. Starting early in the evening several people were out with small firecrackers.

I have never been one for firecrackers. I love to watch a good fireworks show, but playing with them at home has always scared me. That is why I love that my husband is there to give our son the firecracker experience, and teach him how to use fire safely.

Here they are starting the small firecrackers. At first Brian wasn't so sure about them.

A few years ago we took Brian to see the fireworks in downtown Seattle. They were beautiful and amazing to watch for an adult, not so much for a 2 year old. Since then he has been afraid of the noise.

This year my husband picked out firecrackers that were sparkly and fun, but not loud. (And also the thunderstorm that we had roll through here a few days prior that got Brian used to the loud noise). Brian started to really enjoy the firecrackers.

He still wanted to keep a good distance between himself and the firecrackers. For which I, as his mother, was very grateful.

Sparklers...

As it started to get dark the street came alive with several families setting off their own fireworks.

Our street has several families with teenagers. So they were shooting off fireworks that were significantly louder (read: setting off car alarms). But by this point Brian seemed to be doing quite well with all the hoopla.

But the real fun came after dark. I've never lived anywhere that fireworks were legal. It was nice to pull out a lawn chair and a ~~glass~~ cup of wine and watch the show from our own home.

I loved this shot. We were sitting with a few neighbors looking up at the end of our court where most of the big fireworks were being set off. I loved how it shows the full effect of the fireworks, from the ground to the sky.

Slugs

2008-07-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

Here in the Pacific Northwest we have slugs. Big slugs.

Raising a boy in the Pacific Northwest means lots of fun with slugs. This last weekend we went for a little family hike at Nolte State Park. It was tons of fun and we saw lots of slugs. I wish I had held something up to the slugs for size comparison. They are huge!

Here is a little Monday fun...

Munch, Munch...

Family Photo...

Slug gymnastics...

I loved this one of Brian...

Happy 4th of July

2008-07-04T23:23:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!

We sat outside with neighbors and watched the fireworks display at the end of our cul-de-sac. This is the first year I've ever lived someplace that is legal to shoot off fireworks. What a show!

YES! vs. yes.

2008-07-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sent everyone to read this blog.

I did that because I loved, not only the quality of writing (which is so often missing in blogs), but also the simplicity of a great idea. How many hearts would stay unbroken if we taught our children that "no" means "no" but everything short of "YES!" means "no" too.

As a former abstinence educator I'm not a big fan of encouraging sexual activity among teens. Though I do believe that, in educating about relationships there is a need to address the difference between both parties being totally gung-ho vs. just allowing the activity (either through trying to please/keep a boyfriend or just to "get it over with").

I've wondered how many date rape situations happen just because two people aren't communicating on the same level. Even in marriage communication about sex isn't always (and in some marriages it's never) good.

What really hit me about this post was not the impact this idea would have on high school and college campuses, but the impact on marriages. How many wives would feel safer and more cherished if their husbands would wait for a "YES!" instead of "well, um, I guess we could do something"? And wives need to believe that only an enthusiastic "YES!" makes for a good sexual relationship. I think it could benefit both husbands and wives to strive for a sexual relationship where both people say, "YES!"

I promise to now go back to "mommy blogging"...