Houseguests, Like Fish, Stink After Three Days...

Dear RSV,

I'm glad you have enjoyed your stay at our home. Really, I am. But, I can't say we have enjoyed you. As far as house guests go, you have been overbearing, uncomfortable and have totally interrupted the flow of our lives. Not a good thing for visitors to do.

Though, while you have been here I have learned a few lessons. Some that I am grateful for, others I could have done without.

First, I have learned how to catch vomit in my hands. Sure, a useful skill for a mother to know, but one I could have gone my whole life without learning.

I also did not know that I would think of the 1 and 2 hour sleep increments of a newborn as luxurious. Now, I'm grateful for more than 15 minutes at a time. Not that I would go 15 minutes without checking to see if the baby is breathing. But, still, sleep would be nice.

Also, I feel that we have done our economic duty, in this time of fiscal downturn, to keep money flowing into the economy. Especially to the drug manufacturers, namely Vicks.

Another thing, even you, who have no sensitivity for social etiquette, should know to leave babies alone. Really? Afflicting a three month old? You should be ashamed. Adults have a hard enough time, but babies have a harder time doing without the use of their noses - and for that matter, their lungs.

You should know that your visit of 7-21 days is not the fad right now. Most viruses like you last for 3-10 days. 7-21 days, that's just selfish. Please reconsider and shorten your stay.

So, RSV, you have impacted our lives and we will remember you. But, I won't keep the light on for you.